And I’m a Twilight-a-holic.

(Hi, Salt.)

It all started back in 2008. I was desperately looking for something to read and then someone told me about these books.

They said that they were for kids, but they would give me a great fix. They told me to be careful because the books were highly addictive. I decided that I would give them a try. I’ve always been a sucker for peer pressure.

I liked the first book immediately. Sure the writing was kind of fluffy and would never win a Nobel literary prize, but the story was fast moving and I got really into it. After I was finished, I felt empty. I needed more. Barnes & Noble didn’t even have the second installment of the series in paperback, but I didn’t care. I was hooked and if a hardcover was all I could have, then I’d spent the $20 to get it. I was reading constantly…at home, on my lunch break, even at the gym while I worked out. I removed the jackets so no one would know which book I was carrying around. I had never read anything that you could find in the Young Adult section and I felt a little ashamed.

Within a month period of time, I had plowed through the whole series and was getting excited about a movie that was coming out based on the first book. My best friend, T, and I battled throngs of 15 year olds in sparkle I Heart Vampires tees to go see it. The movie was lower budget with less-than-impressive special effects, but that didn’t stop me from wanting it for our DVD collection at home. My enabler husband bought it for me. (And he didn’t hate the movie either. Shhh don’t tell him I told you.)

Since then, I’ve read the whole series again, very much enjoyed the second movie (again with T…it’s nice that my BFF is as Twi-hard as I am), and am excited for that DVD release later this month (which I may or may not have it on pre-order). And as of yesterday, I have something new to be all hot and bothered over.

Coming June 30th:

Because if I’m not looking forward to my own wedding anymore, I can at least look forward to Bella’s, right? And I can never turn down a gratuitous shirtless Jacob shot. He’s 18 now, so as cougariffic as it is for me to say that, at least it’s not illegal.

The new movie is even directed by one of my favorites, David Slade, who is also responsible for my favorite goretastic vampire flick, 30 Days of Night. I’m very excited to see where he goes with it.

Now I’d like to join such awesome fellow bloggers as Hotpants™ at Handbags & Handguns, Mayra at Life is Bananas, and Foxy at The Fox Den (who we know is Team Edward all the way), in proudly standing up and declaring my love for Twilight.

I will not hide my book jackets any longer.

So whose side are you on? (Personally I’m a Team Jasper gal myself.)

Welcome to OLT: Wedding Edition! M and I got married at a popular resort, and I was not expecting that we would be the only wedding occurring during our stay there. As it turned out, there was another wedding the very same day as ours. I thought that was pretty cool and this blog is dedicated to that other bride.

Dear Wedding Date Twin,

OMG!!!!!!!!! We’re MARRIED!! *insert high-pitched squealing and jumping up and down here* How much are you absolutely loving it? Because I certainly am!! You seemed like a nice enough girl when I ran into you in the salon the morning of our weddings. How is your friend doing? You know…the one that was there getting her hair styled in an only slightly less awful version of this:

via Google

Had I not be in total bride-mode, my spidey senses would have been tingling as soon as I saw her. But I had just finished getting my own hair done and was on a mission to find a glass of champagne before I went upstairs to get ready. My attention span was that of a fruit fly on crack. I’m sure you can relate to that feeling!

When I said goodbye to you and the Snook-alike, I wasn’t really expecting to run into you later that day. It was a huge resort after all. So imagine my surprise when we were just finishing up the last of our pictures with the photographer and about to head into the bar to have pre-reception drinks with our friends and family, and you and all of your bridesmaids came traipsing by.

All of your 8 bridesmaids. Damn, girl, was like every guest you had at your wedding actually IN the bridal party?

Ok. To be fair, I didn’t even think about that part until later on because at the time I was too busy trying not to stare at the rowdy band of Snookers wearing skimpy black dresses that you had in tow. Or at your wedding dress, which I can only describe as looking like this:

via Google

Ok so maybe it wasn’t quite THAT bad, but it was still very bad.

And then I was confused. Were you guys on the way to a wedding or to da club? Did the airlines you traveled in on lose all of your luggage and your only option for purchasing wedding attire was the local prostitute store? Or was your wedding Jersey Shore themed?

It certainly was…creative. And a time saver! You wouldn’t even need to change your wedding night lingerie later on!

Either way, I’m sure your wedding (?) was just lovely I truly wish you and The Situation your new husband a lifetime full of love and happiness. I hope you had a safe flight back to the Shore!

Your bride pal,

There are some pros and cons about getting married at a resort when it comes to the photography. The pro in this case was that we got our professional shots back before we even left the island. Another pro was that the woman we reviewed said shots with gave me an entire bottle of champagne to drink while I went through them.

Maybe she thought that if she got me drunk enough, I’d want to buy all the photos.

The con was that there wasn’t much to choose from and no amount of bubbly could have changed that fact. Because the photographer knew nothing about how insane we are our personalities and we didn’t really know what we were working with as far as a location was concerned, our pictures are pretty generic. Luckily, this is what I was expecting and is part of the reason why I had my heart so set on having kickass engagement photos, which we drove all the way to Ohio for. Our photographers there were uh-MAZE-ing and in a perfect world we would have had them with us for the wedding also.

Anyway we didn’t end up purchasing very many of our wedding shots (maybe 50 out of like 200), but I feel like the ones we got are quality. Plus we have all the 11,000 photos that family and friends took.

Here is our bridal party! First from the left, we have the groomsmen D (who is also my DAD!) and K. Then there is M & I, obvs. Then Maid of Honor, T, and Bridesmaid, S. Remember when I had my ridiculous meltdown over S’s dress? Look how perfect they ended up looking together! I’m patting myself on the back as we speak.

Now I could have put pictures up in here all day causing this post to be a mile and a half long, but instead I opted to make a sweet slideshow set to the song that I walked down the aisle to and upload it to my shiny, new WordPress video upgrade. Then, in theory, you were supposed to be able to view it right here on my blog. But then the resolution was just awful and our wedding looked as if it had been painted by a drunk watercolor artist. (I think it might be time to get my money back.)

So instead, if you would like to actually SEE the pictures in the slideshow, you can click here. It is a Quicktime movie and might take a moment to load.

It’s also the original Wedding Wednesday over at Carrie’s!

I hope you enjoy!

Edit: Here is the YouTube version if the Quicktime doesn’t work. The transitions between the slides isn’t quite as nice, but you get the idea.

In general, I think my blog is pretty un-controversial, so I have wondered from time to time if anyone out there would ever hit me up with some sweet hate mail. Ok…maybe I was kind of hoping that it would happen one day because I find it hilarious when strangers have a problem with me.

Well my time has finally come, and I feel a strange sense of pride. Some of my most favorite bloggers, like Meredith of (flash) Pasteurized, have dealt with the ridiculousness of some random spouting rudeness on their blogs. I guess this means that I must be doing SOMETHING right over here.

Anyway, I used to have a Formspring “Ask Me Anything” account. I had a link to it over —-> there in my side bar, but it was entirely too difficult to access so I decided to take it down. As I went in to deactivate it the other night, I found that I had an unread message in my inbox. I only wish that I had caught this little gem sooner than 3 weeks ago when a special person visited me all hopped up on the Haterade. The question really deserved a more prompt response then it is receiving.

Say whaaaa? I'm an "internet whore"? And I haven't even been charging!?

I’m just going to go ahead and assume that they want to know why I have so many things to say all over the internet and not why I am some sort of e-prostitute. I just got married, you know, and I’m certainly not cyber-sleeping around.

So in that case…

Dearest Cowardly Commenter,

Thanks a heap for this awesome question! Let me start off by saying that I’d much rather be considered an “internet whore” than a “creepy anonymous blog stalker”, but differences are what makes this wonderful world go round.

To answer you, I guess I’m here, mercilessly whoring myself out (for FREE!), because I enjoy telling stories about things that happen in my life. Something that you obviously do not have if you are stalking blogs with the soul purpose of leaving nasty comments on them. I’ve met lots of funny and interesting people in the process and if that makes me an “internet whore” then I’ll gladly accept your label and wear it proudly.

Now I have a question for you…

One great thing about the internet is that little people like you and me get to have a voice and make our opinions known. So why be anonymous? Your opinion holds a lot more weight if you are a real person standing behind it. What you did is basically the equivalent to ringing a doorbell and then running away. And you know who pulls pranks like that? Elementary schoolers. Just sayin’.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some business to attend to. Like explaining to my internet pimp why I don’t have his money.

Internet whores, unite!

But seriously…it’s my birthday!

On this day waaaay back in 1978, I decided that I would grace the world with my presence. And as usual, I was fashionably late. 2 weeks late to be exact.

This photo was taken moments before all hell broke loose because someone had just taken away my favorite plush musical elephant.

32 years later…I’m living a happy and blissful life as a new wife, working at a job I love and (hopefully) getting ready to buy a house! I guess growing up isn’t so bad after all.

This photo was taken moments before all hell broke loose because M stepped on an anthill.

I’ve never really tried to lie about my age, unless you count the really bad fake ID I used to try and get into bars in college (I think I was like a foot taller than the little person that my New Jersey license used to belong to). However, I did have one birthday related meltdown when I turned 26. I had just spent a bunch of money at the Diesel store in NYC and then broke down crying right in the middle of Lexington Avenue. Because shopping is one of my most favorite sports, there was really no reason that I should have been upset, but looking back at it, I think I was just really sad about where my life was right at that point.

But in the years after that, I started looking forward to my birthdays. When constantly asked by people if I was freaked out about turning 30, I told them that I was so excited! I got to fly home from California and spend it with my then boyfriend/now husband. It seems like every year that goes by just keeps getting better and better, so why be afraid of it? Birthdays are just as fun now as they were when I was 8 except now my friends take me out and feed me margaritas rather than vomtastic pizza from Chuck E. Cheese.

Of course we all know that the amount of margaritas that can be consumed without incident is considerably lower than it was a decade ago, but I’ve learned to adapt (and drink more water before I go to bed).

Today, I’m going to social security to change my name. You may be wondering why I would want to torture myself like that on my birthday, but I’m excited to do it and more importantly I’m out of vacation time for the next 8 or so years so I have to make my last day off count. Then tomorrow it’s back to work. Just thinking about what my desk looks like after 2 weeks of me not being there is giving me heart palpitations.

So I guess I’ll do what any sensible person my age would do and pop a couple of baby aspirin. I heard it is a safe and effective way to prevent a heart attack.

My HUSBAND (squeeeee!!!) and I arrived back in really not-too-terribly-cold Charm City very late last night after a day of traveling that rivaled something you would see in a movie like the Hangover without the hangover…or the hookers or missing teeth. We actually DID think we were going to be arrested at one point – I’m telling you, you really haven’t lived until you’ve been led down the scary dark back hallways of a third world country airport in order to receive a “special random search”.

Anyway we’re here – tired, but otherwise unscathed. And we’re married. And it’s blissful and wonderful and everything I hoped it would be. I have so many damn stories that I don’t even know quite where to start, so I apologize in advance if my blog becomes post wedding central for the next little while.

There are so many things I need to be doing this weekend…mainly getting my post-having-stayed-at-an-all-inclusive-resort-where-I-could-eat-and-drink-anything-whenever-I-wanted ass back into the gym, but I have a feeling that much of my time will be spent trying to catch up on all the blogs I’ve missed so much. Thank you all for the wonderful and sweet and encouraging comments while I was away!! I hate to say that I was having blog withdrawal on my honeymoon.

But I was having a little bit of blog withdrawal on my honeymoon. *capital L sign on forehead*

We’re VERY MARRIED! And we’ve never been so happy in our lives.

Paradise
Pronunciation: (pr-ds, -dz)
Function: noun
1. A place of ideal beauty or loveliness.
2. A state of delight.

Used in a sentence:
It doesn’t even matter that there is a massive thunderstorm raging right now; this place is still paradise.

We’re here! I’ve been so drunk busy the past couple of days that I haven’t had a chance to get online! I’m just glad that we actually have the internets. Outgoing phone calls are out of the question and I think I may have to sell a kidney in order to pay for all the text messages that I keep receiving. It’s been kind of nice being so removed from everything though…aside from the fact that it’s hard to locate the rest of the people that are here with us sometimes because this resort is MASSIVE.

Everything here is wonderful. I don’t think it would be possible for the staff to be any nicer and we’ve already invited a couple of them to watch us tie the knot (both M and I are friends with everyone after a couple of beverages). As you can see, the ocean is beyond words. Our room is gorgeous. The food is delicious. You can’t drink the water, but that’s ok because there are plenty of other things to drink instead. I even got to go to a yoga class this morning!

Our wedding (which is in 48 hours OMG) is pretty much ready to go. M took the picture of me above in our reception venue as I met with the coordinator and we got everything nailed down. We tasted delicious cake, chose our menu, our vows, our photography package, and my dress is being pressed as we speak. So far, aside from this rain we are getting today, everything has gone perfectly for us. For a couple of our guests…not so much (one of my bridesmaids FINALLY got her luggage this morning — she arrived here on Tuesday).

I miss reading all your blogs and I know I’m going to have a metric ton of awesomeness to catch up on when I get back!

Signing off for now…the sun looks like it’s trying to make an appearance and the pool is calling my name!

PS: We totally got a first class upgrade.

*bounces in desk chair with excitement*

Ohhh-em-gee, you guys. I cannot believe this day is actually here. Welcome to my very last post before I put on my sparkle tiara bride tee and board a plane with my almost-hubs reeeeeally early tomorrow morning to fly away into the wild blue yonder. Otherwise known as Miami. Where we will enjoy a 4 hour layover (normally I’d be all “ew” over this, but it’s Miami so I’m pretty ok with it) and then hop on a second flight for the hour and 45 minute trek to….

(That’s Turks & Caicos…isn’t it gorgeous?)

I. Cannot. Wait.

Today is going to be a whirlwind of last minute errands, packing, and preparation, but I just wanted to stop in and give all of you a big virtual hug before I head out of here. I have had so much fun over the past 6 months blogging about my various adventures in planning this wedding and you guys have all been so sweet about listening to my rambling and acting like you care.

I will still be popping in intermittently while I’m on my trip, even if it is only to post up a picture of where I am and what I’m up to. (Neither M nor I would ever be able to survive without the internets for 11 days, so don’t even try to talk us out of it.) I may also have a guest blogger or two come in and hold down the fort for a couple of days.

I’m going to miss you, my wonderful bloggy friends, and I’m so excited to show you guys photos and will hopefully return with plenty of hilarious stories of what I managed to get myself into on a tropical island. Maybe I’ll also bring back an iguana. I’m sure my cats would love that.

Next time you hear from me, I’ll be in PARADISE!!

BON VOYAGE!!!!

]]> http://saltsays.com/2010/02/22/cuz-im-leeeeeavin-on-a-jet-plaaaane/feed/ 67 Salt favorite island lovesalt1 http://saltsays.com/2010/02/21/success/ http://saltsays.com/2010/02/21/success/#comments Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:28:07 +0000 Salt http://saltsays.com/?p=2680 ]]> Y’all must be some really good dancers or something!

Weather crisis averted!! As you can see, we are preparing to enjoy a beautiful, fabulous, magical day of 100% rain tomorrow. And it’s all because of you. (Or I like to think it is.) Thank you for lending your amazing moving and shaking skillz and saving my vacation (and the rest of humanity from Saltiraptor).

The extended forecast for our first week in T&C is calling for a 20 – 30% chance of rain every day –which I think is typical for tropical places, right? – and temps that range anywhere between the late 70’s and mid 80’s. That’s 24 – 29 degrees for my friends that use Centigrade.

Any way you say it, it sounds PERFECT.