Unless you just found out about the Internet yesterday, you are probably familiar with the People of Walmart (and if you aren’t and haven’t eaten recently…stop by there really quick and check it out so that you can gain an appreciation for what I’m talking about.) This website makes me really want to go to Walmart. Not to actually buy stuff – I have a phobia of shopping anywhere that I can get both meat and pants in the same place – but just to carry my camera around ninja-style and see if I can capture anything worthy of their photo galleries.
There is always something interesting going on over there. In fact, I just went for a moment and found no less than 5 things right away that made me want to gouge my own eyes out. The pictures range from funny, to confusing, to downright vom inducing. The whole concept is absolutely hilarious.
But the website as a whole is not why I’m here this morning. There is one picture in particular that was sent to me the other day and the sheer epic absurdity of it almost made my brain hemorrhage. I love this picture so much that I printed it out to hang on my bulletin board at work so that whenever I’m having a terrible day I can look at it and know that everything is going to be all right.
via People of Walmart dot com
Double-yew. Tee. Eff.
There is just so much going on here that I don’t even know where to begin. The heart and rainbow, possibly Care Bear themed pajamas? The Neo Nazi hooker boots? Her obvious love for Cheetos? How about we start with the fact that she has her cat with her in Walmart. Doesn’t that violate some sort of no pets policy? I doubt very much that it’s a seeing-eye cat. And the best part is that it doesn’t really seem to mind being there. If I tried to carry Oskar around for more than 10 seconds like that, I would be off to the emergency room and the whole store would probably burn to the ground. This woman is obviously completely bat sh*t crazy, but at the same time, she’s kind of my hero for having such a well behaved, laid back animal. I don’t even see a leash or a harness, which I imagine means that she carries it with her every. place. she. goes.
I so wish that this woman lived in Maryland, but instead the photo caption says Ohio. State of Ohio…you don’t even know how good you have it.
PS. Do you want to see something that’s NOT hilarious?
I am never wishing for snow again as long as I live.
Wow..just simply WOW. And I say that to both of your points in your post. Wow to the CareBare wearin’, cat totinn’, Neo Nazi boot wearin’, Cheeto lovin’ FREAKING WEIRDO at Wal-Mart. You forgot to mention that it was probably about 3 a.m. and she couldn’t sleep, so she ventured out in hope that nobody would notice her… uh… duh.
And Wow to the weather prediction! Good luck with all that snow Lauren. Be safe!
♥Shelli
By: catalinaislandbride on February 9, 2010
at 2:46 pm
Thanks for reminding me about People Of WalMart. I’m heading to the store. Now I’m going to spruce up a little. And leave the cat at home. You never know who might captcha your picture.
By: Tracie on February 9, 2010
at 2:58 pm
Holy shit. THAT’S exactly why I don’t look at that website. It’s embarrassing and I feel like I’m watching Jerry Springer or Judge Judy….I’m like ‘People, you need to get a grip and a prescription’
Umm, you know what the scariest thing is? I’m pretty sure that cat is dead. Like she probably took fluffy to the taxidermist when he died and carries him around with her….seriously.
By: Christine on February 9, 2010
at 2:58 pm
oh no! J and I were going to go skiing this winter, but I think we’ve had TOO MUCH snow to enjoy it (We’re from FL – our tolerance is fairly low!)
Make sure you stock up on some great Wii games to chill with during the snow! Also…you should totally totally make some practice v-day baked goods. Why? Because I need an idea of what to make!
As for Walmart lady….I don’t even want to say anything about her. Our Walmart should be on that site every day. I don’t even go there if I can help it, haha
By: Cheryl on February 9, 2010
at 3:06 pm
Holy cow! You’re going to appreciate your wedding even more now! 10-20 inches of snow, damn.
I love that picture. Another great one that makes me smile is cakewrecks.com Great for us brides to be. A whole website of basically what not to do for your wedding cake, or birthday cake, or basically any other kind of cake.
I want those pjs, and those hooker boots!
By: Date Girl on February 9, 2010
at 3:30 pm
When I saw that picture on PEEPS OF WALLY WORLD I actually thought of you… not because she reminds me of you in anyway but I thought the same thing, I can’t imagine me being able to carry Angus around like that or you carrying Oskie. (It’s a black cat thing I assume).
Seriously – M and I go to Wally World 2 times a week. I never get to see this kind of fun stuff. NEVER! I hate that our Wally World is a waste of space for that reason. I’d be excited to go if I could see people like this and the other crazies photographed! I never even get to see cool underwear through white stretch pants at our Walmart. The best entertainment is actually the fashion show the Japanese Exchange Students from the University put on when they are there (always SO stylish!!!) otherwise it’s so LAME! The most strange people there are usually the check out people – STRANGE!
I heard about the snow report WTF!!! That’s impossible and crazy and not fair at all. My poor dad is alone, and stuck in his house. Granted he’s got his neighbors that he gets along with so hopefully they will do something together.
*FINGERS CROSS IT MISSES YOU AND YOU DON’T LOSE ELECTRICITY* The 2nd is always my biggest fear for my dad/anyone in storms!!!
By: Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic on February 9, 2010
at 3:37 pm
because i’m kind of an idiot it took me the longest to realize she was holding a cat. i mean, really? a cat?
maybe the next time i go i’ll put my dog in an infant carrier, and wear rollers and my husbands bathrobe…
..and maybe an eyepatch too. everyone loves an eyepatch
By: Tiffany on February 9, 2010
at 3:48 pm
Maybe she thinks Mr. Kitty Bo Jangles would enjoy picking out his own food. Wal-Mart is undoubtedly the place where anything goes. Sometimes when we’re bored on Friday nights, we go there to people watch… We’re lame. oooh! new Friday feature idea!
By: Brooke on February 9, 2010
at 3:51 pm
I love that frickin website. It makes me feel so good about myself.
Wtf? Does that woman seriously think she can pull of some hooker boots and pjs? And i guess the cat is just an accessory to her awesome outfit….
By: Amber on February 9, 2010
at 4:30 pm
i LOVE that site. it’s seriously the best pick-me-up, ego-booster, hey-at-least-i-don’t-look-like-that-freak-of-nature website around. and thanks, i needed that today. p.s. sucks about the snow… we’re getting like 8-12 more. BLAH!
By: sarah on February 9, 2010
at 4:30 pm
Just stumbled in and wanted to thank you for the laugh. I completely forgot about that Web page until you mentioned it and it’s always funny to see the photos of shoppers in Walmart. And I totally agree: it inspires me to go myself and take snapshots of people.
Good luck and hope the snow misses you this time around. I heard it’s heading straight to NY so I’m keeping fingers crossed for a snow day tomorrow (that will never happen, but a gal can dream).
By: Charlotte on February 9, 2010
at 4:53 pm
Oh. My. Gosh. I don’t even know what to say about this picture but I SO want to bring one of my cats to Walmart. Only because everyone would run away screaming WHY WHY WHY????
It’s snowing here right now and I know I should go move my car so that when they come to do our driveway I don’t get stuck. But I really don’t care. At all.
By: Krysten on February 9, 2010
at 5:00 pm
Truly amazing. I haven’t been to a WalMart in years, but this may make me go back. I hear you, though – you should not be ble to buy meat and pants under one roof.
By: partyplannergal on February 9, 2010
at 5:13 pm
My co-worker sent me a bunch of these last week that ranged from hilarious to extremelely disgusting and distrubing. Sadly it’s kind of realistic based on the Wal-Mart here.
By: JM on February 9, 2010
at 5:26 pm
I’m pretty sure that is Diego’s baby jaguar.
And I am also proud to say that my town does not have a Walmart. I think that speaks volumes for my little suburb of San Diego.
I can’t believe you are getting more snow. I think it’s high time to move back here.
By: Monique on February 9, 2010
at 6:04 pm
I’m going to have to check that site out again soon. I don’t go to Wal-Mart occasionally, but the times I do go…I see a lot of scary things. This woman actually looks like someone I would see in a Wal-Mart around here. Bless that cat.
And snow is not cool anymore!
By: Samantha on February 9, 2010
at 6:11 pm
I think the problem is, Oskar does not qualify as “overweight” and therefore, would NEVER go for this old trick. Poppy, on the other hand, is a whopping 12 lbs and would much prefer to be carried around by the mid-section, as opposed to actually walking. LuLu would rather eat my eyes out of my skull than being carried around like that in public.
I am a HUGE fan of People of Wal-Mart and while it is very much against my religion to spend any actual money there, I will go simply for the people-watching enjoyment of it all. And on more than one occasion I’ve wished that my BlackBerry took pictures without the obvious little “click”. North side Wal-Mart is the best. If you don’t speak enough spanish to know when someone is calling you a punta, you shouldn’t even bother.
Also? freezing rain right now. AWESOME. Colonel Ketchup, the Mustang says DOUBLE AWESOME.
By: Allyson on February 9, 2010
at 6:19 pm
I love that site so much. Unfortunately, I shop semi-frequently at Walmart and see this stuff ALL the time live and in person. i get more “WTF was that student thinking?” than certifiable crazy person. Well, it depends on the Walmart, actually. Once I saw a white guy with dreads and no shoes carrying one of those 1995 boom boxes and playing reggae and I was so giddy about it I almost peed myself. And just a few weeks ago, I saw a woman with knee high boots and thigh-high stockings — PRICELESS!
I’m blaming your bad luck on alllllll the friends on my FB list who talked incessantly about how much they HEART snow and how HOT it was back in the summer and how at Christmastime was so MAGICAL with a dusting of snow! Cause we all know Mother Nature is a Beeyatch and refuses to do what you ask her to do.
By: Amanda on February 9, 2010
at 6:39 pm
When I first glanced, I was like… IS THAT A CAT?! I can honestly say I haven’t seen that before.
By: hotpants™ on February 9, 2010
at 6:41 pm
I love Wal-Mart…I wish I had a camera some of the times I was there. That’ll be my goal for my next trip: find something worthy of the People of Wal-Mart website
By: Carrie on February 9, 2010
at 6:54 pm
The other day I was at the ol’ Wallyworld and wished I had a camera with me to take a pic of this chick in the craziest outfit…it was ridonkulous
By: shortmama on February 9, 2010
at 7:03 pm
i have been watching the news, you have officially gotten like 3x the amount of snow MA has. i am sorry for that. i mean, i love snow, but it is craptastic when it ruins all your fun weddingy plans.
also, pics like this make me wish i had a wallyworld near by. (apparently walmart is not cape-coddy. but it really is though. like i think this woman’s sister might live up the street)
By: jessalyn on February 9, 2010
at 7:08 pm
I super duper puffy heart People of Walmart. And being that it’s the closest and cheapest grocery store to me, i do go there every now and again. And boy are there some SIGHTS. Wow.
Sorry bout the snow, bb.
By: foxy on February 9, 2010
at 7:13 pm
wow! So many things wrong with that picture..haha
I heard yesterday that there’s supposed to be more snow for you today and I’m so sorry! I know it’s been so intense. Hang in there!! xox
By: Mara on February 9, 2010
at 7:43 pm
Hang in there lady! I say it’s Sex and the City marathon time!
By: Kristin on February 9, 2010
at 8:05 pm
I can’t believe you guys are getting so much snow! That is crazy! But just think, in a few short weeks, you’ll be on the beach. And you’ll be a WIFEY!!!!!!!!!!
By: Tracey @ TropicalHappiness on February 9, 2010
at 8:21 pm
That is the kinda stuff you can’t make up. I live in a city where there is a big part of the population that is…. how should i put it? ummmm… welfare bums. I see it all.
One day We were driving to the grocery store and we saw a group of 6 people pushing a couch and love seat down the middle of the street on shopping carts. Theres also the time a shaggy looking guy was riding his bicycle and pushing a shopping cart full of cases beer.
Seriously.
I should dedicate a whole post to it.
As far as the snow your getting, I showed some of my friends and they thought it was pictures of the north west territories. My advice: stock up on supplies and enjoy being snowed in with the hubs to be.
By: thejenni on February 9, 2010
at 8:52 pm
I’m so afraid that one of these days I will end up on People Of Walmart.com….. I take great care to avoid wally world if at all possible.
It couldn’t have been a seeing eye cat…it wasn’t wearing those dark glasses or anything
By: daffy on February 9, 2010
at 8:52 pm
Well, I’m kinda ticked off now. You see, I live in Ohio. I met a breeder in the Walmart parking lot to see her Chihuahua pups. I bought one, my baby Maya. I tried to go into Walmart that night to buy a crate, supplies, etc. (She weighed just over a pound at the time, could barely fit in the palm of my hand.) Anyway, the greeter told me I couldn’t come in with my 1 pound dog – and that woman gets buy with her big ass cat? I left, put Maya in my coat and went in through the other door. Hah! Walmart.
By: Namaste_Heather on February 9, 2010
at 9:52 pm
HOLY.CRAP. this is insane. it amazes me that there are really people like that out there.
though i once went to the store in my footie pajamas…
By: meredith on February 9, 2010
at 10:36 pm
thank you thank you, us Ohioians work hard to help walmart keep up the whitetrashness! no really, southeastern ohio is the worst. you should see the people i see at walmart. hell, they’re even at the bank & the library.
By: anna on February 9, 2010
at 11:35 pm
Thanks for your comment! I’m lovin your blog, btw. Love that you’ve got a cooking section too! I love cooking/baking blogs! And OMG, that snow is INSANE!
By: Stacy Zane on February 10, 2010
at 2:35 am
Ya never know what freaks you’ll find in Walmart. I’m really shocked at the number of cross dressing men that end up on that site. I was beginning to question if that kind of crap really happened until I ran into my own cross dressing dude at Target.
He was rocking a plaid skirt, panty hose, and elf boots. It was every bit as disturbing as it sounds. . .
By: Candice on February 10, 2010
at 4:45 am
thats a shit load of snow!
I’m so going to that site right now to have a look – we get some right sights in the shops here in Oz – mostly people not wearing shoes or not only not wearing shoes, but having obviously not washed for a week. Worst offenders have frighteningly ridiculous mullets. Pyjamas and slippers are a common sight on Saturday mornings at the mall.
This is why democracy simply cannot work – these people have equal voting rights! *sob*
By: Charlie on February 10, 2010
at 9:14 am
The town that I went to college in only had a walmart…I wish I had know about this site when I went there because I could have submitted some good ones!
Are you trapped inside today…It’s crazy out!
By: Cee on February 10, 2010
at 2:17 pm
There is a 24 hour Walmart near my house and that website has inspired a late night visit. I don’t share your aversion to buying meat and pants in the same store…I love it. But I’m all efficient like that. My last Walmart trip included The Hangover on DVD, hangers, toothpaste and Oreos. I bought the Oreos because I was going to my brother’s and I needed something for dessert. It was all kinds of Klassy.
I don’t get why that lady brought her cat with her. I love my dogs, but they don’t shop at Walmart with me.
I was telling J earlier about your possibly 50 inches of snow and his response was “That’s almost as high as you.” I measured – he’s right. 50 inches of snow would be up to my shoulders. That’s insane.
Just think, soon you’ll be on a warm sandy beach.
By: Shana on February 10, 2010
at 3:04 pm
Oh my god, that is so funny! I thought the same thing about the cat when I first saw the picture. Very well behaved! I want to see someone carrying around their cat with them while I’m out sometime!
By: Carrie @ Laugh Love Eat Ice Cream on February 10, 2010
at 5:40 pm
I wish you could come to the Walmart where I’m almost positive most of these pictures were taken. That would be the Walmart down the road from me in BFE, North Carolina.
It’s a frightening place that makes my ass twitch on a regular basis.
By: Sara on February 10, 2010
at 8:57 pm
I think that places like that are the real reasons that camera phones were invented.
By: Salt on February 10, 2010
at 11:25 pm
we just got our load of snow and now the wind is kicking in along with the lake effect. it’s fantastic because i’ve had the days off but friday is NOT going to be fun. old man winter is CRANKY this year.
also… people of walmart is possibly the most hilarious site ever. that and textsfromlastnight.com oh… and regretsy.com.
ok i’m done. lol still catching up!!!
By: kallaydoscope on February 11, 2010
at 2:28 am