Ahhh Wednesday, we meet again.
I have to admit that I kind of had fun with that ultra-klasstastic picture of yours truly slugging back brown-bagged champagne last week. (Not Old E, Ally!) So I thought to myself, “Why stop now?” Why not dip into the embarrassing photo archives yet again and share another of them with the world? Or at least the internet. This one is a classic. I had a little trouble coming up with only one word that could accurately describe it.
A little backstory:
The year was 2004. You can tell because I had blonde hair. I was enjoying an evening out on the town with a group of friends, one of which was Kelly of D2BD (I like to name drop whenever I can). We were walking down the street in a hip and cool area of Charm City when we came across this bike rack.
Oh and obviously we had had a few drinks, because this kind of stuff typically doesn’t happen when one is completely sober.
Anyway, I suddenly had this absolutely BRILLIANT (soco & lime shot fueled) idea. An idea that rivaled those of the greatest thinkers in history. I could CLIMB THROUGH that bike rack! Wouldn’t that be just the best and most fun thing of all time!? So I handed my purse to someone and was on my way.
Halfway into my epic journey, I realized that I should have thought this through a little bit more thoroughly. Everyone: the inside of a bike rack HURTS. My hip bones were digging into the metal and it was very uncomfortable. I was not going to make it and backing up wasn’t an option either. I was stuck and someone was going to have to rescue me. Lucky for me there were LOTS of people walking and driving past right then.
Before our big friend N picked me up by the back of my jeans and hauled me backwards out of the bike rack, Kelly took a picture to document this special moment in my life. I look so elated as if this was the best thing to ever happen to anyone. And then of course her hand partially covering the shot because now that she didn’t have a Captain and Coke to hold onto, she might not have been sure what else to do with it. (I jest out of love, my dear!)
So I guess the word for this One Word Wednesday would be:
Asinine:
Pronunciation: \ˈa-sə-ˌnīn\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin asininus, from asinus ass
1 : extremely or utterly foolish <an asinine excuse>
2 : of, relating to, or resembling an ass
Yep. I was definitely resembling an ass. The moral of the story is…don’t do this. Ever.
In other news, please allow me to be an awful tease for a second and show you all what came in the mail last night:
Now THOSE are a couple of happy women in some sassy aprons. I feel like the blonde girl used to be my next door neighbor or something. And the best part is that one of them is going to belong to one of you! Enter here if you have any interest in that. Winner will be chosen on Saturday. 
That is indeed a lovely top you are wearing!
Kitty x
By: kitty moore on January 20, 2010
at 4:13 pm
Wow that is totally something I would do drunk. Once I got inside a dog crate…another time I got into a freezer.
By: Cee on January 20, 2010
at 4:20 pm
Keepin it klassy, girl, as always!! Actually, crawling through that bike rack is totally something i would attempt, because it looks like it would be a really fun feat. And look at what a great photo it turned out to be!!
I hate it when an article of clothing goes MIA. And all you have is photos to remind you of how cute it is and how cute you were in it. How do we even go about losing things like that?? It’s not like it happens in the middle of the night when you’re supposed to be wearing it… ?? Or maybe it does. Maybe that’s why it’s MIA.
By: foxy on January 20, 2010
at 4:21 pm
yes I like that tank top too. So, basically, even when you take pictures of yourself being a jackass. You still look cute.
That is just ass-inine, Salt.
Kiran
By: Kiran on January 20, 2010
at 4:32 pm
I agree, you look super stoked to be stuck in the bike rack. But it would have been an even more assinine story if the bike rack looked like the one I was picturing in the story (ya know the kind that are on the ground with only like 2 inches between bars? I was kinda wondering how to climb through one…haha)
By: Cheryl on January 20, 2010
at 4:49 pm
Oh my gosh. That picture makes me feel claustrophobic! The things we do when we’re drinking. Don’t you just love cameras =-)
By: Krysten on January 20, 2010
at 4:56 pm
Well shit. Now you have implanted this in my mind and next GNO I am going to try this. Thank you, Salt. My kids will be so proud of their mom.
And I WANT that apron. Don’t forget my bribe.
By: Monique on January 20, 2010
at 5:16 pm
Aren’t you glad there’s photo proof of your asinine ways? Hilarious.
By: hotpants™ on January 20, 2010
at 5:39 pm
I did plenty of asinine things when I was younger too! At least you look cute while doing it though!
By: Mara on January 20, 2010
at 6:01 pm
haha thanks for the laugh!
By: write-brained on January 20, 2010
at 6:02 pm
bwaahahahahahahah SNORT! I love this! That night was really fun. I take peeksurs gude! Was this before or after the Lingereee and Penis Macaroni discussion? (I think we had that EVERY night we went down there after the first night)… mmm novelties!
By: Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic on January 20, 2010
at 6:24 pm
I just wish I could find the video of this. KC taped it remember?
I think this was after Lingereee and Penis Macaroni, but that was a discussion that never fully ended and still lives on today.
“They’ve got novelties!!!”
By: Salt on January 20, 2010
at 9:31 pm
OH DANG!!! You’re right… we’ll forever talk of novelties and batteries and WHOREEESSSS!!!! KC needs to find that video ASAP and get us all copies!
By: Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic on January 20, 2010
at 10:59 pm
haha, i love this pic and i LOVE the word asinine. just sounds like a bad word, but it’s not. that’s the beauty of it.
you are being such a tease!! i’m miss betty crocker in the kitchen and i NEEEEED this adorable apron! baking is the only i can actually “cook” without catching anything on fire, but i’m tured of getting flour and powder all over my clothes! i’m sure you understand my dilemma.
By: meredith on January 20, 2010
at 6:47 pm
I’m with you. M is really good at the cooking part and I take care of the desserts and make a giant mess in the process 100% of the time. Hence my love for fashionable aprons was born.
By: Salt on January 20, 2010
at 9:05 pm
oh and by the way, that word “tured of getting flour and powder all over my clothes” was supposed to be TIRED. see, i am tired!
By: meredith on January 20, 2010
at 6:48 pm
just found your blog and I love it! it’s so cute!
By: Michelle on January 20, 2010
at 6:57 pm
LOLOLOL!!! I think you totally could have made it all the way through! The soco in you told you to give up! LOL! Love it!
Eeek, those aprons are even more adorable than I thought! Still crossing fingers, toes and eyes!
By: Tracey @ TropicalHappiness on January 20, 2010
at 7:04 pm
hahaha great word! Love the pic! I too think you could have made it through!
So excited about those aprons btw!
By: Chocolate Lover on January 20, 2010
at 7:57 pm
Nice. I used to live in MD (Columbia). Glad I never attempted that on my trips in to Baltimore.
By: JM on January 20, 2010
at 8:06 pm
I am SO grateful that I don’t have many pictures of drunken adventures. The ones I do have are packed away and unscanned. Although I suppose it’s just a matter of time before something shows up on facebook…
By: Stephanie on January 20, 2010
at 8:36 pm
I think you and I would have a blast together. I can’t resist going up escalators backwards ( I have the scar to prove it) or using every bench as my personal balance beam.
I am insane, as well as asinine.
By: Blond Duck on January 20, 2010
at 9:02 pm
We enjoy life!!!
By: Salt on January 20, 2010
at 9:03 pm
I’m so glad someone was able to capture this moment in time. This has to be one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen!
a video of the bike rack crawl would be the only thing to top this.
By: Date Girl on January 20, 2010
at 9:24 pm
You aren’t going to believe this, but there is one. One of our friends DID have a video camera. I’m just not sure where the tape is. If I ever find it, I will post the clip.
By: Salt on January 20, 2010
at 9:30 pm
hilarious!
By: bryna on January 20, 2010
at 11:29 pm
swap that bike rack for a living room stairwell railing, and well, been there done that. totally asinine. great photo-op, though!!
oh and you best believe i will be here bright and early on saturday (like, uh, ever other day…) to check out the apron winners!!
By: sarah on January 20, 2010
at 11:46 pm
Asinine. Nice. I’ve never actually tried to crawl through a bike rack before, but I’m sure I’ve done plenty of things equally asinine. I’m also pretty sure some friends of mine would have pictures to prove the asinine things I’ve done. I love how you just put it out there! Oh, and the wine in a bag was plenty klassy! Maybe you should do a photo collage for your wedding. I’m sure your new in-laws would love to see them. Happy Wednesday!
Namaste~Heather
By: Heather on January 21, 2010
at 12:10 am
This is too awesome! Ahhh, Soco and lime will do that
By: partyplannergal on January 21, 2010
at 12:16 am
That is AWESOME! And assinine, yes, but mostly awesome.
Looks like a fun night. I’ve been known to crawl into a few tight spots myself, so I recognize another cool chick when I see one!
By: Bev on January 21, 2010
at 12:17 am
oh the things we do when intoxicated…whether by love, emotion or plain alcohol. ususally the latter in my case.
great photo…great story! you’re adorable. this is my first time here and already i like you.
By: bananas. on January 21, 2010
at 1:12 am
I am loving this outpouring of support for my stupidity! Actually I’m just really glad that other people have done similar things. It definitely makes me feel like less of a jackass.
You guys rock.
By: Salt on January 21, 2010
at 3:45 am
HAHAHAHA! that bike rack pic is epic. You are my hero.
By: Kym on January 21, 2010
at 3:52 am
its probably a good thing I dont have photo documenting some of those days lol
By: shortmama on January 21, 2010
at 4:29 am
asinine. now that’s a good word i haven’t used in a looong time. i love it. (i’m kind of a nerd)
By: Tiffany on January 21, 2010
at 5:10 am
What a fun blog, I found you in a roundabout way through SITS. Good luck on the upcoming wedding. There are many days I wish I would have had a destination wedding, but our wedding at home was beautiful
Great choice of words by the way. It’s always the worst when there is proof of moments like these 
By: Melissa Papaj Photography on January 21, 2010
at 2:12 pm
But at least you got a great photo and story out of it!
Came over from SITS.
By: debbie on January 21, 2010
at 2:45 pm
Haha yes there IS always that.
Welcome Debbie! Thanks for stopping by!
By: Salt on January 21, 2010
at 2:48 pm
I’m not sure what’s funnier here: You stuck in a bike rack or You (while reminiscing about being stuck in a bike rack) wondering where your shirt is!
Congrats on being freed from bike rack prison and please, for our entertainment, do this again sometime! It was fun! haha!
By: kallaydoscope on January 21, 2010
at 5:08 pm
This is GREAT! Reminded me of the movie, The Hangover, and I swear…..it looks like you are hiding a drink behind your elbow.
By: Angelia Sims on January 21, 2010
at 8:46 pm
I totally saw this yesterday and yet remarkably forgot to comment. I must be getting old. Or maybe I had too much rum for dinner. At any rate, this totally looks like something I would do…in that “hold my drink while I see if I can fit in there” sort of way. That’s how I got stuck in a trunk. I love a girl who is not afraid to make an ass of herself…and then put it on the world wide web. Hubs-to-be is ONE lucky guy!
I’m still whoring it up on everyone else’s blog about this apron give-away. does that get me xtra special brownie points? I could make brownies…if I had an apron…
By: Allyson on January 22, 2010
at 2:57 am
That’s a damn fine story.
And it’s true. Things like this don’t much happen when you’re totally sober or in your right mind.
Thank God we’re not always sober or in our right minds.
By: Sara on January 22, 2010
at 3:54 pm
That looks like an asinine thing that I would do. Only the jaws of life would be required to cut my stuck, fat ass out of there.
By: Tracie on January 22, 2010
at 4:17 pm
[...] I became too enraged to post them on my blog. Rather than tearing up the streets of Charm City and getting stuck in bike racks, I will instead be buried in up to 2 feet of [...]
By: Awesome vs. Not Awesome « Salt says…. on February 5, 2010
at 3:22 pm